Tuesday, November 3, 2009

my Attention Deficit Disorder in the grown up world

this is my second blog . . . . it s kinda crazy now that i have started " blogging?" my sister keeps asking me if i have logged on or read her blogs or if i have gotten around to posting a new blog myself. NOW! all day long i have found my self trying to think of things i can share on here that people would like to read or i would like to Chronicle ? <----- is that the right word ? i think so i started this blog to talk about how flakey i am, how it really bothers me that I'm this way. and about the efforts i have began to take to correct it !
but i some how got distracted Surprise surprise !
SoOoOoO i am way flakey !!!!!!
I'm never on time, i cant ever decide what i want to do, i cancel or back out of commitments on a whim ! very strange and silly things over whelm and upset me
I'm emotional for no reason, some times i have left the house with out shoes on my feet! I'm for ever leaving the burners and oven on, sometime when boiling water i forget it and when i come back there is no water left in the pan or i leave the keys in the door,
i leave the milk out all the time. i for get to shave ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!! its not that I'm lazy or don't think i need to i just keep forgetting !!!!!
Gross right? i will go months with out doing laundry . . . my record it two . . . and I'm not proud.
things have melted in to my stove top cause when i turn on the broiler i forget to clear it . and some thing have actually it fire ! I'm a health risk . . . . but only in that way
really the only word that i know of for some one like me is flakey . . . . i guess u could use distractable (p.s. thats not a word) too but socially i think it would be some what fair to call me a flake , i have a pretty small vocabulary even though i am " quite bright". (hahaha. i sound like my teachers when i was in school)

i struggle alot with this. i think its cause when i was in . . . . . . i think 2nd grade they told me i had ADD (attention deficit disorder) , back then they had a hand full of books on it and a questionnaire u could fill out that would tell u if Ur child probably had it . . . . but I'm just guessing cause really i just know that the knowledge must have been limited cause growing up almost every where i went i felt pretty misunderstood till about 7th grade and even though my mother knew what it was and that i suffered from it she didn't really seem to understand ( WOe is Me ), in our town they had some learning centers or places u could take Ur kids too for "one on one educational interaction"<--- I'm not sure if that was what it was called but that's what i have decided to call it right now. oh and a few specialised schools ! <---- its my personal opinion that god must have sent angles to do work there for him sometimes. Oh and they had like two or three medications for ADD out at that time Ritalin and . . . . well maybe just that one? cause i feel like adderall came out later but Ritalin was some nasty stuff. from what i remember of being on it. i was like a zombie !

now a days u can look ADD up on google witch i just did :) and they have like whole web sites and associations, tons and tons of information <--- its funny cause i just discovered this ! cause for the first time EVER !!!!!!!!! i googled it !
i have decided for my self just now that it would have been more important and beneficial for me growing up if i was reminded and informed consistently (because i need that) that this was my issue not so i could use it as a crutch but so that i would be aware what my strong points were and my week points so i could develop ways to cope and adapt as i grew because TRUST ME !!!!!!!!!! it being difficult to pay attention in a class room setting is very different than it being hard to focus in life.
its a whole other Game out here !
i could give a ton of examples but ill save that for another blog
any who
i haven't been on medication in a long long time but i have decided that my health and family and my relationships with others have suffered enough because of what I'm pretty sure is my
ADD.
i would like to have more control of my life than this and its time that i do cause this is my life and its a short one, i cant afford to make it any shorter or aquard or difficult that an already is

soooo hopefully in the next weak or so i will be going to see a dr. about getting back on some medication : )
and i am very excited about it

4 comments:

  1. i fully agree. you need some meds so you can remember to shave. i have left the house w/o shoes on before, it's less excusable for me since my feet touch ground! anyway, if they prescribe you adderall, slip some my way ;) haha jk!

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  2. LMAO thank you tara !
    thats very sweet of u !
    Sgt.snuggle pants is for ever making fun of me i get a little stubbleish . . . . HAHAHA! ok seriously . . . its really gross and now that u have commented on it i feel like i should go delete that part

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  3. for all anyone knows it could be your leg, chin, or hairs hahahahaha!

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