Friday, February 21, 2014

Reflection and Growth

I have made a terriable habbit of Neglecting this Blog, But with all that I have been trying to accomplish latley, Spiritualy, personaly , within my home and with my family I felt the need to get back to having a blog. Over the last two years a lot has changed. That really is no supprise at all because for any one A LOT can change in the span of just a year. But for me . . . im just reflecting on the last two for right now. my last post . . . dated almost a year ago Noted a few changes. One was the loss of a dear family friend to Combat in Afganistan . . . another was langthy period of poor health for me, the move of two very special friends to distant parts of the US, and the absolute worst of all the nasty betrayl of two people I was very close friends with as well as s heart breaking betrayl made by someone even closer to me than a friend. I wont get into all the Scadelous details of thoughs but I want to mention them because at almost this very same time last year I had decided to make choices that I belive by the grace of god allowed me to accomplish what i have so far and put me where I am and needed to be today. Allowing me to set New goals of personal and spiritual growth and helping me to conqur and triumph over all said previous adverities, and emptional set backs . Belive me, they were painful and nasty So to update this, im still a mother of two, I still love to cook and hate to clean. How ever I have Gotten back into intrests I had previous to my accident and previous to being married and having children, im very happy. I have been taking classes and branching out into the community more and learning from and networking with other artists and mothers and moms and wives and people in general. its opened other doors creativly also, I have been trying to stay physicaly active as and keep the children active and engaged, I feel alot better about who I am now than I did two years ago and I hope that I can just continue to grow and blossom. Parts of my heart are healing and I hope that some of my relationships will too. I have spent alot of free times learning to work with various artistic meduim and applications. Art is a great pasion of mine , I dont attempt to make art because im good at it or I hope to be, I mostly just do it cause I love to create! I just love it. I really struggled with finding the ability to be a wife,mother and homekeeper for a long time up untill this last year. So much so that it may have bordered on some sort of sever depression. I wasnt struggling to love my kids and husband but I was stuggling to love my self and my place in my home and in my marriage. After every thing i went threw in 2012 I just could not go on living the way that I Was. I have always and will always struggle when i put to much on my plate and try to do too many things its just who i am but taking care of my spiritual creative needs made me feel alive and im so greatful that god allowed me to discover this about myself. I still have alot of growing to do and alot of things i want to learn and to accomplish but im hoping I can keep track of them with this blog and share a little bit of that with myself when i go to look back at this a few years from now or maybe some one else can bennifit from my story. Persuing these things has enabled me to preform better in the home and with my children and husband. Im still me. I still rarely finish every thing I start and I still get very distracted but I will do my best.